Delete and Block 19 By Rani Prem

 Delete and Block 19 By Rani Prem


The Gift of Giving

The time of year for giving? We donate to charity, we give presents to family and friends and yes, we volunteer more, in order to help others.

My mother always said charity is not about getting recognition. The right hand should not know what the left hand is doing. You should give with a clean heart, with no expectations.

So many people who donate advertise it, of course, the charity receiving the money need it but why do they need to announce it to the world. Even those that donate privately are they not expecting the blessing from God for giving that gift or do we give to charity to appease ourselves to eliminate the guilt we feel about something we have done or not done? Does anyone give with no expectations?

I’ve noticed that when I help others, I do it because I want to, because I know I can help but do I expect anything in return, No. I truly dislike when people offer me something because I helped them. Therefore, that gift is not a gift of friendship, it is payback. Gifts should never be like for like. Help should never be like for like. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and we use those strengths to help our family and friends and I for one do not expect anything in return but I do expect them to respect what I have done and not do something to hurt or upset me. So, I guess I also don’t have a clean heart when giving to others, clearly I also have an expectation.

I feel like a charity case when offered something because they feel they need to payback, I feel like they do not respect me for who I am and they do not respect our friendship. Were we ever friends?

How many of us buy presents for family and friends based on what they gave us last year. Be honest? However, is that the meaning of Christmas? Is that giving according to our own pocket or even a clean heart? No!!! And if the person receiving the gift expects you to match the price, they paid for your gift then what is the point. Don’t give!!!

I think Christmas and the joy of giving to others should simply be that, joyful. Finding yourself in debt and stressed trying to find a way to pay for it all, is not joyful. Who wants to be in debt in the New Year? I know I don’t.

My biggest pet hate, is when I hear people say ‘ I did this for him or her because they needed it’ Why tell me that? Does the person saying that not realise they are belittling the person they gave the gift to. Did the recipient of that gift ask for it? No. We as human beings are not saints, I appreciate that but I feel that so many people are arrogant and forget the hurt they are causing.

Charity, presents and a shoulder to cry on, should not come with a price tag. It should not be payback.  Some friends I have spoken to say that they hope the recipient of that help remembers them in their prayers. Is this not also an expectation?

The gift of giving should be a gift, whether it is a tangible gift or not.  I’m sick and tired this Christmas hearing ‘She got me that last year, so I need to buy her something amazing this year’ This is not what it is about. I remember in my twenties buying my brother designer clothing for Christmas and he was not yet working, and he would buy me pyjamas from Primark. Was I upset no, not at all. He bought me a gift with love and according to his bank balance.

So, let us try hard for next year to think about why we do what we do for others? Why we feel the need to announce our generosity to others? Moreover, understand that announcing that generosity can hurt others.

We make all these New Year’s resolutions and most forget about them within a few weeks. I would like all of you to make this resolution, be a better person, do for others because you want to and not expect the same in return from anyone. If you can try and keep this one resolution and not any others, you may find you will be a better person and believe it or not you will feel good about yourself. The blessings you receive without asking for it will fall upon you tenfold.

Life should be simple and giving when you can and that does not mean spending money. What will it cost you? A little time, a little time you can afford. Give up an hour on the PS4, an hour drinking down the pub and hour of lounging on the sofa.

Learn the true meaning of giving!!!

Have a Wonderful Christmas and God Bless you ALL XXX









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